sauergeek: (Default)
[personal profile] sauergeek
Depending on who you ask, people are here for at least one of two commonly cited reasons. The religious will point at their particular religious traditions and beliefs, and say that people are here to worship whatever deity or deities they happen to favor. The scientific will point at the biological imperative, and say that people are here to make more people.

But for many -- myself included -- this is unsatisfying. Both systems imply that all people are fungible. Humans as a species don't much care if it's me making more humans, so long as sufficiently more humans get made to continue the species. And the deity (or deities) doesn't much care which people are worshiping -- if you worship, you're good, and if you don't, you're bad. There's no individuality in either system.

I've often wondered what I am here for. Neither religion nor biology can answer the question at the individual level. I have neither any idea what the answer to that question is, nor how to go about finding it out. I've felt for most of my life that I'm waiting to find out whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing here, so I can go about doing it. But just waiting for it to fall on my head is frustrating, and often feels pointless.

I've often heard about people getting a calling to do something or another. While that is a great thing for them, I've not had it happen myself, much as I'd like it to.

Does anyone here have any insight about divining an individual purpose? Or is the whole idea of searching for a purpose yet another exercise in pointless wankery, suitable only for late-night undergraduate bull sessions and mid-life crises?

Date: 2006-10-10 08:32 am (UTC)
siderea: (Default)
From: [personal profile] siderea
Of course, addressing the question, What should I do with my life? isn't just a productivity issue: It's a moral imperative. It's how we hold ourselves accountable to the opportunity we're given. Most of us are blessed with the ultimate privilege: We get to be true to our individual nature. Our economy is so vast that we don't have to grind it out forever at jobs we hate. For the most part, we get to choose. That choice isn't about a career search so much as an identity quest. Asking The Question aspires to end the conflict between who you are and what you do. There is nothing more brave than filtering out the chatter that tells you to be someone you're not. There is nothing more genuine than breaking away from the chorus to learn the sound of your own voice. Asking The Question is nothing short of an act of courage: It requires a level of commitment and clarity that is almost foreign to our working lives.
-- Po Bronson

You want to read What Should I Do With My Life? by Po Bronson.

Here's something important from an essay by him, the one the above passage is from, about lessons learned from writing the book:
[...]

Smarts Can't Answer The Question

If the lockbox fantasy is a universal and eternal stumbling block when it comes to answering The Question, the idea that smarts and intensity are the essential building blocks of success and satisfaction is a product of the past decade. A set of twin misconceptions took root during the celebration of risk and speed that was the 90s startup revolution. The first is the idea that a smart, motivated individual with a great idea can accomplish anything. The corollary is that work should be fun, a thrill ride full of constant challenge and change.

Those assumptions are getting people into trouble. So what if your destiny doesn't stalk you like a lion? Can you think your way to the answer? That's what Lori Gottlieb thought. She considered her years as a rising television executive in Hollywood to be a big mistake. She became successful but felt like a fraud. So she quit and gave herself three years to analyze which profession would engage her brain the most. She literally attacked the question. She dug out her diaries from childhood. She took classes in photography and figure drawing. She interviewed others who had left Hollywood. She broke down every job by skill set and laid that over a grid of her innate talents. She filled out every exercise in What Color Is Your Parachute?

Eventually, she arrived at the following logic: Her big brain loved puzzles. Who solves puzzles? Doctors solve health puzzles. Therefore, become a doctor. She enrolled in premed classes at Pepperdine. Her med-school applications were so persuasive that every school wanted her. And then -- can you see where this is headed? -- Lori dropped out of Stanford Medical School after only two and a half months. Why? She realized that she didn't like hanging around sick people all day.

The point is, being smarter doesn't make answering The Question easier. Using the brain to solve this problem usually only leads to answers that make the brain happy and jobs that provide what I call "brain candy." Intense mental stimulation. But it's just that: candy. A synthetic substitute for other types of gratification that can be ultimately more rewarding and enduring. As the cop in East L.A. said of his years in management at Rockwell, "It was like cheap wood that burns too fast."


[continued]

Date: 2006-10-11 08:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sauergeek.livejournal.com
Thanks for the reference!

Date: 2006-10-10 08:33 am (UTC)
siderea: (Default)
From: [personal profile] siderea
[quotation continued]

I struggled with this myself, but not until I had listened to hundreds of others did the pattern make itself shockingly clear. What am I good at? is the wrong starting point. People who attempt to deduce an answer usually end up mistaking intensity for passion. To the heart, they are vastly different. Intensity comes across as a pale busyness, while passion is meaningful and fulfilling. A simple test: Is your choice something that will stimulate you for a year or something that you can be passionate about for 10 years?

This test is tougher than it seems on paper. In the past decade, the work world has become a battleground for the struggle between the boring and the stimulating. The emphasis on intensity has seeped into our value system. We still cling to the idea that work should not only be challenging and meaningful -- but also invigorating and entertaining. But really, work should be like life: sometimes fun, sometimes moving, often frustrating, and defined by meaningful events. Those who have found their place don't talk about how exciting and challenging and stimulating their work is. Their language invokes a different troika: meaningful, significant, fulfilling. And they rarely ever talk about work without weaving in their personal history.


I have a rather lot more to say on the topic; I'll try to get back to this tomorrow.

Date: 2006-10-10 08:39 am (UTC)
siderea: (Default)
From: [personal profile] siderea
BTW, I both have a calling and don't believe in purpose (at least as most people mean it.) That should keep you intrigued. ;)

Date: 2006-10-11 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sauergeek.livejournal.com
Note that I use "calling" and "purpose" pretty much interchangeably above. The definition of "purpose" I think you might be ignoring involves a definite end, such as "this person's purpose on earth is to build a better mousetrap." Once they've completed their purpose, they're done. While such things are possible, it's not what I'm looking for. I am, instead, looking for a calling.

Date: 2006-10-11 08:13 pm (UTC)
siderea: (Default)
From: [personal profile] siderea
Oh, good, that answers the question of how I was going to gently explain to you that you don't need a purpose, you want a calling. :D

Admittedly, for rather different reasons that these, but, hey, fine....

Date: 2006-10-11 08:20 pm (UTC)
siderea: (Default)
From: [personal profile] siderea
I'm thinking my discussion of this topic, since it's about me, should be done in my journal. Mind if I link to this post of yours to explain how I got on the topic?

Date: 2006-10-11 09:25 pm (UTC)
siderea: (Default)
From: [personal profile] siderea
Oh, heck, can I just quote you extensively? You explicate the limits of religion and biology to answer the question so eloquently; I donwanna have to do it myself.

Date: 2006-10-11 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sauergeek.livejournal.com
Go ahead!

Your purpose is to entertain... me!

Date: 2006-10-10 12:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snolan.livejournal.com
Buhahaha

You are all here for my personal entertainment.

(evil maniacal laugh)

Re: Your purpose is to entertain... me!

Date: 2006-10-15 12:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snolan.livejournal.com
Most certainly, though we are starting to miss you down here in the fetid swamps... (grin).

What about philosophy?

Date: 2006-10-10 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snolan.livejournal.com
If neither religion nor science can answer the question for you, what about philosophy? It sounds like you have already started down that path a little.

How we define ourselves becomes a key basis for any philosphy exploration on the issue - and I think that how we define ourselves changes as we grow, get older, shrink, and change...

In some philosophies we are all parts of a much larger organism. Sometimes effective and useful parts, sometimes troubled and problematic parts. Scientifically this makes some sense to me, and even religiously it generally does (though specific religions make seeing how we are all inter-connected much more difficult).

Those predestination believers have it easy - they never need to worry about this, because it was all decided for them long ago (grin).

Reduced to a simple level I have found some personal happiness by deciding that I like people, I like to help people, and by taking action to help people. It's rewarding. Is it all part of the grand design? Who knows; but it is fun.

All things in moderation, eh?

Re: What about philosophy?

Date: 2006-10-11 08:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sauergeek.livejournal.com
The thing is, philosophy (in my limited study of it) works just about as well as religion or science for what I'm after -- that is to say, not at all. It is, once again, not individualistic. It prescribes ways to live that anyone and everyone can follow.

Predestination is a logical contortion that I cannot wrap my head around.

All things in moderation, eh?

Including moderation!

Fun digression

Date: 2006-10-11 09:33 pm (UTC)
siderea: (Default)
From: [personal profile] siderea
Those predestination believers have it easy - they never need to worry about this, because it was all decided for them long ago (grin).

Actually, apparently, no they don't! This is actually tackled in Bronson's first chapter, which I expect you can read on Amazon. It starts with the question: Wouldn't it be so much easier if you had a letter from God telling you what you are supposed to do in this life? If you ever got confused or lost, you could pull it out from your pocket, unfold it, re-read it and refresh your memory.

Turns out, (he argues) it doesn't help. He knows this because... he knows someone with a letter from God. Well, the Dalai Lama, which is pretty much the same thing. This guy got a letter from the Dalai Lama explaining that he (the guy) had been indentified as a reincarnated saint, and was to report to the nearest monestary to resume his work as a saint. So he did. And, well, for the rest, read the book. ;)

Date: 2006-10-10 12:55 pm (UTC)
jered: (Default)
From: [personal profile] jered
My approach is basically that I'm here because of an extraordinary set of statistical circumstances, but that's only amazing because I wouldn't notice if I weren't here. And while I'm here, I might as well make the best of it, because it's pretty cool.

I guess you could call me a secular humanist. Wikipedia describes the world view of a secular humanist to include the tenets:

  • Need to test beliefs - A conviction that dogmas, ideologies and traditions, whether religious, political or social, must be weighed and tested by each individual and not simply accepted on faith.
  • Reason, evidence, scientific method - Commitment to the use of critical reason, factual evidence, and scientific methods of inquiry, rather than faith and mysticism, in seeking solutions to human problems and answers to important human questions.
  • Fulfillment, growth, creativity - A primary concern with fulfillment, growth, and creativity for both the individual and humankind in general.
  • Search for truth - A constant search for objective truth, with the understanding that new knowledge and experience constantly alter our imperfect perception of it.
  • This life - A concern for this life and a commitment to making it meaningful through better understanding of ourselves, our history, our intellectual and artistic achievements, and the outlooks of those who differ from us.
  • Ethics - A search for viable individual, social and political principles of ethical conduct, judging them on their ability to enhance human well-being and individual responsibility.
  • Building a better world - A conviction that with reason, an open exchange of ideas, good will, and tolerance, progress can be made in building a better world for ourselves and our children.


How's that work for you?

Date: 2006-10-11 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sauergeek.livejournal.com
While I think the secular humanist outlook on life is largely a reasonable one, it still has no individuality to it. See my response to [livejournal.com profile] snolan above.

Date: 2006-10-15 12:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snolan.livejournal.com
You want individuality? How American!

(grinning ducking and running)

Date: 2006-10-10 02:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lil-brown-bat.livejournal.com
(pointed here by catness)

If you haven't already, read Voltaire's "Candide" (listening to the record of the broadway show doesn't count). It's both a good work of philosophy on the precise question you're asking, and also a belly-laugh of a good read.

Date: 2006-10-11 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sauergeek.livejournal.com
I have neither read the book (in translation, as I do not know French) nor seen the play. I've found an etext on line and am in the middle of reading it. Many thanks for the reference!

Date: 2006-10-10 02:20 pm (UTC)
mindways: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mindways
Does anyone here have any insight about divining an individual purpose?

My impression is that it's only partly a matter of figuring out or discerning purpose. While there's certainly insight involved, there's also creation - choosing what one is here for, making purpose.

(And no, not at all pointless wankery, but something that can be extraordinarily relevant to one's life - both in what one does with it, and how one views it.)

Date: 2006-10-11 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sauergeek.livejournal.com
A number of other people have also suggested this. However, it only begs the question of how to go about figuring out a purpose. As the quote from [livejournal.com profile] siderea notes, trying to do it deductively can lead in all sorts of wrong directions.

Date: 2006-10-10 03:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] also-huey.livejournal.com
I don't think people exist in general for biological or religious reasons: I think that everybody pretty much has to find their own reason, although that reason probably ought to have some relevance to broader humanity: I see "your life has no purpose" as a pretty harsh insult, and "my life has no purpose" as a cry for help and potentially an indicator of suicidal thoughts. People, like border collies, need a reason, a purpose, something to do, but it's also important that this purpose isn't "I'm going to be hedonistic until I die in a car accident, or overdose". Constructive. Useful.

On the other hand, perhaps that is biological or religious. You increase the success of the species if you make a useful contribution to society, even if you don't actually produce offspring. And most religions include some exhortation along the lines of at least "How about trying to be fucking nice to each other every now and then, hrm?". Peace, harmony, getting along - not contributing to any of those things if you're just a user, a burden, a purposeless life, a drain on society - you need to add something. You need to improve the lives of those around you. You need to be a force against entropy, not one for it.

Two of the wisest people I've ever met both cherished their place in the universe. One had a very clear sense of wanting to be the best assistant manager of a McDonalds that he could be, the other the best bricklayer that he could be. Neither one of them will ever save the world, but both of them have made my life better. In turn, I will make other peoples' lives better, and so on, and eventually somebody whose life has been so improved will reproduce, or have some spirituality. ...but those things are side-effects that only occur at the scale of macroscopic society - as an individual, you still need to figure out what the hell your life is for- if you're gonna be a friend and McDonalds assistant manager, or a bricklayer, husband, and father.

I design software, I try to be a good friend, fix things, fight entropy, and and I wear my underwear on my head as I rant into my keyboard. It is my purpose. Why are you here? What do you do?

Date: 2006-10-11 08:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sauergeek.livejournal.com
People, like border collies, need a reason, a purpose, something to do, but it's also important that this purpose isn't "I'm going to be hedonistic until I die in a car accident, or overdose". Constructive. Useful.

Fortunately, unlike a border collie, I do not end up shredding the furniture out of boredom. Instead, I am much neater in my boredom: I play computer games and read books.

Why are you here? What do you do?

See, that's the whole question I'm trying to answer. The answers I have are not satisfactory.

Date: 2006-10-12 12:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] also-huey.livejournal.com
Well, you've reduced the question from "What is the meaning of life?" to "What do I want to be when I grow up?", a question which is every bit as hard to answer, but a lot less frightening on a macroscopic scale.

There's a buncha ways to go at that: the communist way ("What does society need more of?"), the socialist way ("What are you good at?"), the individualist way ("What feels right?"), the capitalist way ("What's gonna make you the most money?") and so on. Some people quickly find a really excellent confluence of all of those things, other folks change jobs a lot while they're lookin'.

The best advice I ever got was from the Army Career Alumni Program counselor that did my outplacement interview when I left the Army: "If you ever wake up in the morning and don't feel like going to work: don't. Life's too short to work at something you don't enjoy." It's served me well for most of the time since: I get paid pretty well to do interesting stuff. And as time passes, the person that I am is getting closer and closer to the person that I think it's my purpose to be.

Date: 2006-10-10 03:38 pm (UTC)
dcltdw: (Default)
From: [personal profile] dcltdw
So, alyse is an awesome gardener. Which is doubly awesome for me, because I love flowers.

So during the warm months, I come home and see flowers! Marigolds and cosmos and violas and on and on, all yawning up into the sun or perhaps snoozing in the twilight.

Why are they here?

That particular flower there: why is it there? It's not even sentient, and yet, it's alive, right? Shouldn't it have a purpose? Is it just here to make more of its own kind? I'm not being sarcastic (text sucks); I'm being 100% serious.

The answer is, to me, obvious. Biologically, it's here to make more flowers. But at a bigger/higher level, it brings beauty to the world, and it makes me happy. It makes alyse happy. It makes random passer-bys happy. (Each spring, alyse gets random compliments from not only neighbors, but also friends who drive by our house.)

It makes me and others happy. Let me repeat: it makes lots of people happy. How cool is that?

Why am I here?

I'm not here to win a Nobel Prize. I'm not here to make some major breakthrough that will help my species. It'd be cool if I could, but I don't have the right kind of focused personality for that. I also am not talented enough for that.

But I do have this connection with my friends. I make people happy. I'm not a comedian, no; Chris Rock, I am not. But just as I miss the flowers, not that it's turning to fall, I know that I would be missed by my friends were I to get hit by a dump truck today.

I make people happy. Not just alyse, not just my close friends up here in Boston.

To me, this really really fails to suck.

Date: 2006-10-10 05:00 pm (UTC)
cos: (Default)
From: [personal profile] cos
I don't believe in there being a given purpose for us being here. We just are. I don't think I can "find out" what I'm here for. If I want a purpose, it's up to me to invent one I like.

Date: 2006-10-11 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sauergeek.livejournal.com
This, unfortunately, just begs the question of "how do I go about coming up with a purpose for myself?".

Date: 2006-10-10 10:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lizzielizzie.livejournal.com
I think everyone's purpose in this life is "to learn". And every person is here to learn different things. Part of the living one does is following different paths to see what resonates with them, and when they find those things that really ring true they run with them and learn what they are supposed to be learning in this life. And these opportunities to learn the things you are supposed to learn will pop up again and again until you notice them.

For you specifically, I think that if you pay a lot more attention to your intuition and a lot less attention to your logic, you'd find out some very interesting things about what your purpose is. Don't be afraid of your intuition. While it isn't concrete in the same way logic is, it is still as accurate.

Date: 2006-10-11 12:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kazmat.livejournal.com
I don't think there's a reason or a purpose. Your life is merely what you do or don't make of it (and what it is will be different for every person).

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