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Apr. 21st, 2004 08:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sauergeekOn the way to school this morning, while waiting for the subway at Harvard, I saw something that made me want to slug one of my fellow passengers. A family: mom, dad, two daughters, maybe 9 and 12, were also waiting on the platform with me. (I'm assuming they were a family, at least.) They were gathered near one of the pillars on the inbound platform. The younger of the two walked closer to the edge of the platform and leaned a bit to see if a train was coming. Her dad, without any warning, reached out and pulled her back by her hair. It took effort to keep from hitting him.
I normally stand at the yellow stripe -- not on it, but behind it -- while waiting for the train. I stand where the front end of the train stops; the family was behind me. The girl's head was not even to the stripe when she was leaning. The train hadn't entered the station at that point; it was merely audible. Her father was close enough to her that he could just as easily have pulled her back by her shoulder if he thought pulling her back was imperative, though given her position, I can't see why pulling her back would have been imperative. He could also have said something to her. Both of those would have been safer -- hair can be slippery! -- and both would have involved a lot less pain on her part. Afterward, as she went back to her sister and mom, she was holding the side of her head where he'd pulled. She also kept stealing resentful glances at her father. Way to go, dad.
I don't understand why this event happened. There might be background here that I don't have, such as the girl being continually rebellious -- though that wouldn't justify her father's reaction for what she did. As far as I could tell, she was being careful and responsible, and got (fairly viciously) punished in public for it.
I normally stand at the yellow stripe -- not on it, but behind it -- while waiting for the train. I stand where the front end of the train stops; the family was behind me. The girl's head was not even to the stripe when she was leaning. The train hadn't entered the station at that point; it was merely audible. Her father was close enough to her that he could just as easily have pulled her back by her shoulder if he thought pulling her back was imperative, though given her position, I can't see why pulling her back would have been imperative. He could also have said something to her. Both of those would have been safer -- hair can be slippery! -- and both would have involved a lot less pain on her part. Afterward, as she went back to her sister and mom, she was holding the side of her head where he'd pulled. She also kept stealing resentful glances at her father. Way to go, dad.
I don't understand why this event happened. There might be background here that I don't have, such as the girl being continually rebellious -- though that wouldn't justify her father's reaction for what she did. As far as I could tell, she was being careful and responsible, and got (fairly viciously) punished in public for it.
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Date: 2004-04-21 07:58 pm (UTC)see, i'm one of these people that if a parent is harsly spanking their child in public, I'll walk over and grab the parent's hand.
Perhaps we should not hang out together. we may get ourselves killed. ;-)
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Date: 2004-04-21 08:06 pm (UTC)Disappointingly not, it appears.
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Date: 2004-04-22 06:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-22 09:19 am (UTC)i get it, in as much as anyone can 'get' the reasons why people do stupid, mean shit. the relationship between the father and the potentially 'rebellious' daughter is as complex and influenced by an enormous well of background as any intimate relationship. the irony of the particular action--the desire to protect the girl from danger by pulling her away from possible collision with a train and doing so by yanking her back by her hair--is a good representation of the myriad impulses and reactions that are part of western culture's idea of parenting. "for you own good" and all.
i'm still standing on my misanthropic soapbox of 'people suck' as a general rule, though. that incident stinks like a 10-day-dead skunk, but it's not uncommon.
Well...
Date: 2004-05-14 10:17 pm (UTC)By the way, I came to your LJ from your comment on Cos, which I really really liked. Good going. - www.carenlissner.blogspot.com
Re: Well...
Date: 2004-05-21 06:30 am (UTC)I'm guessing you're not familiar with the Boston subway system.
The yellow stripe at the edge of the train platforms is on the order of 18-24" wide (it's consistent, I just don't know the number). Her head, when she was leaning over, was behind the stripe. She was in no danger, nor was she standing particularly close. Note that I was standing at the stripe, she was not up to where I was, and I had that same 18-24" between me and the non-existent train.