(no subject)

[sauergeek]

I have recently discovered a question that I have been searching for the answer to for many years. The question is a simple one, so I suspect that (like most simple questions) it has an extremely complex answer. The question:

When is it appropriate to ask someone out on a date?

I can't claim any particular competence at dating. If anything, I would claim a particular incompetence at dating, as I have no idea what I'm doing. My dating history totals a single date, probably in late 1988. (And no, it was not with the person who is now my ex-wife.) It was moderately unsuccessful, in that no further dates ever happened.

Comments

[bouncingleaf.livejournal.com]

Thoughts:

I'm assuming you mean "when in the relationship" and not "when in the day" or "when in the course of human history" although I'm amused by contemplating those questions also.

I think you and I have different ideas of what a date is.

I think I feel ok (if still nervous!) asking someone out for lunch, coffee, dinner, etc. if we seem to be enjoying each other's company to the point where we sometimes seem to find it hard to stop talking to each other. If we both find each other interesting enough that the conversations seem to go on slightly longer than they should ("I REALLY need to go, but one more thing..."), then I'd express an interest in continuing the conversation in a more relaxed context. Like if I'm talking only online with someone but we keep staying up late to talk, I might ask to get together for coffee sometime. Or if I we get to talking at work I might ask if they want to grab a pizza sometime after work. Basically see if the friendship seems to translate well to a different context.

Is that a "date"? It's ambiguous, and I think that's okay. Both people can kind of sound each other out and determine how they want to proceed. If the lines of communication seem open enough, it can be discussed outright.